It was raining. This was the Vancouver morning I'd been approaching for nearly five years, wet and dark and cold.
It was perfect.
I sat in a small café near my new apartment, surfing the Internet and plugging away at minor creative endeavors. I could feel the engine of my creativity re-igniting, cycling up as it usually did around that time of year. It was fall, October 20th, 2008. It was Monday, the day of my orientation into Vancouver Film School for a year of Foundation Art and Design. I was ready.
I'd gotten up at five, two hours earlier, and done my routine. Those days it consisted of an hour's worth of Ashtanga yoga. I'd put a couple of cups of brown rice on to cook and lit a candle, and immersed myself in the golden and nutty scent of the boiling rice as it mingled with the tart apple of the burning candle, and the sharp cut of my own clean sweat.
Each morning I was taking the time I needed to feel alive. That particular morning I'd taken it nice and slow, allowing my body the space and freedom it needed to release all the stress and tension I'd been carrying up to that point.
After the yoga I'd taken a leisurely towel-bath, massaging Doctor Bronner's Magic Peppermint Soap into every pore of my body. That not only conserved water but also gave me an extra fifteen minutes of relaxation, and more time to get in touch with where I was at that point in time. I'd then swallowed half a serving of protein powder mixed with cold water, and brushed my teeth with aniseed paste.
I'd dressed, choosing from the limited selection of clothing I'd managed to bring over from Japan. Cargo pants, a loose t-shirt, a heavy hooded pullover, the winter hooded jacket, and a pair of heavy boots, all blacks and deep navy blues.
I'd put an old rubber tension ball into my pocket, along with my keys and wallet, armed the portable music player, and stepped out the door.
It had been raining, and I'd turned my face up into the dark pre-dawn sky and let the drops fall on me. Taking a deep breath, I'd turned and headed up the dim rain-slicked street to the café.
And there I sat, at a table near the window, watching the traffic, the weather, the people, and the screen. Feeling my anxiety ebb and flow through my nervous system, and not buying into it. I let those emotions run their course.
I was ready.
2014.04.24 – 2023.01.08